Sunday, February 7, 2010
2 days before my birthday.....this isnt supposed to be like this....
Last year, The night of my party, I roll up, dressed in a miniskirt, and a bright red fur coat...I'm not gonna lie, if you didnt know me, I totally looked like a NY hooker...when we get there, there are already 15 cop cars outside my venue, ready to shut my party down ( it had been going for a grand total of 15 minutes...) COntrary to popular belief, raves are well, kinda illegal...but we do manage to find some legal loops to jump through, to make sure that we still get to do what we do best, make damn good music happen, and have a damn good time doing it....
I walk over to the chief of police, and say to him, basically, please dont shut down my birthday party...he said isnt this a rave, and I scoffed at him and I was like no, this is my birthday party, and I have alot of important people here and have invested a shit ton of money to make this night happen, I explain to him that I am from Scotland, and my friend from Wales has flown in just to be here, the cop looks at the 400 people lined up around the block waiting to get in, and says to me in disbelief " you know all these people" to which I yell to the crowd, hey everyone, whats my name, and everyone yells, Hi Jaime...Yes officer, these are my friends, and they are here because I brought them here....after some discussions about code violations, and the fact that we indeed didnt have a liqour licence....I somehow managed to escort the cops around the venue, get everyone to take their booze out of the party...(wink wink) and not have them shut us down....all in all, party went on, with the cops blessing, I think we even took some pics of me ( looking like a high class hooker, hugging the chief of police...
The party was a huge success, and well, when you have a huge successful party, people remember that, and they always come, bringing 5 new friends with them next year....
The party was a huge success, and well, when you have a huge successful party, people remember that, and they always come, bringing 5 new friends with them next year....
Ok so that was last year, and this year, I<3>
I dont cry alot, But I definitely spent a good portion of my day, popping xanax like m&m and between my self induces valium coma, and brief moments of wakefullness, I cried...because I am so fucked, because I dont have the money to get my car fixed, and today BLOWS.....
But here is the kicker, and this is where you will see, my day basically sucked ass.... bigstyle....
This morning I decided to dig my car out of the snow, and go to the store, because well, I was out of bog roll ( thats toilet paper for you silly little yanks) as I drive my car up the street, I manage to get caught in a snow drift....and me being the dumb fucking girl I am, managed to (now I am not a mechanic, but this is what I think I did anyway) I managed to fry my transmission in my car...now let me paint this picture for you....I live on a one way street, which is basically a giant fucking hill, and thanks to the pittsburgh roadplow fucks, they only really plowed my street like one time, so it was pretty shitty...I manage to get approx 20 feet from the end of my street, to which the utopic vision of a wonderfully plowed oaisis awaits, for me to make my way to the store, so I can take the massive shit that has been brewing in my bowels since I woke up, and have a nice soft piece of 4 ply to wipe my ass with...Its there, right in front of me, I see it, I'm excited about it...and BAM...car dies, in the middle of a half plowed one way street, and all my nebby neighbors just stand there gawking...after half an hour of 4 of my friends trying to push my fucking car out of this dumb snowbank, and at least to the side of the fucking road...I give up, in a maniacial mental breakdown where all I can do is laugh through my tears, I walk the whopping 300 yards back to my house, dejected, and try to make some phone calls to get someone to come with a car, help me push my car 200 feet to the proper side of the road so that the plows and other road traffic can at least get by....
great....
but no wait, of course this can only get worse...( At this point I didnt think this was possible...at all....but it does, its almost amusing...)
I called AAA, to try to get them to tow my car...no joy there, they arent coming...(of course they arent...why would any part of this day go my way)
Next, after 3 hours of trying to get someone to come push my car...I get someone to come, I go outside and someone is pretty much taking up enough space to park 3 cars, in the space where I simply want to roll mine in to try and get it out of the way....
So we ask the neighbor, hey can you like, back up your big fucking dumbass SUV like perhaps, 20 feet, so I dont hit your car, and can move mine out of the way...
So some ghetto ass black woman comes outside and starts screaming at me...and anyone who knows me, knows that I really dont respond well to anyone getting in my face...she creates this big scene, because well, she was a dumb cunt...(yes, you can expect me to use many profanities at this point, because 1. I like the word cunt, it s very effective and 2. I'm a cunt and I swear like a sailor, especially when I am pissed off....) Anyway she is yelling at me I am at breaking point and I make the mistake of well, getting right back in her damn face...I'm actually pretty lucky she didnt knock me out, but hey, whatever....EVENTUALLY, her brother agrees to move his car....in the attempt to move his car, he hits my car...yes, HE hits MY car....nice one right, but honestly, at this point, Im not even worried about that...at this point, I'm kinda beat....
It wasnt a bad hit, he just kinda nudged my mirror, no biggie, not considering the day I had, and the fact that im probably gonna be shelling out about 1500 to get my car fixed, ( did I mention I JUST bought this car? 3 weeks ago...yeah...no lie....
Anyway, at the end of all this, ( this black lady btw is still screaming at me, and now she has called her fucking friend and her friend is screaming at me on speakerphone too, and I am using every iota of self control not to take my shovel and smack her in the face with it...I think that under the circumstances I really deserve a medal...I really REALLY do)
Somehow, probably because I didnt want to deal with any of this shit anymore, I end up giving THEM 200 bucks because when HE hit my car, he cracked his breaklight...like a little itty bitty bit...
but yeah, they made me drive up to the atm, and take out 200 dollars and give it to them...WTF @#$%#@%#$^@%^@%&^&*@%^#$%@#$!#%^$%
Oh, and my birthday rave, which I should be at right now...postponed...till the 27th.
I dont cry alot, But I definitely spent a good portion of my day, popping xanax like m&m and between my self induces valium coma, and brief moments of wakefullness, I cried...because I am so fucked, because I dont have the money to get my car fixed, and today BLOWS.....
But when I did wake up, there were a handful of people in my house, and well, they made me a cake...see what I said before, about how my friends really love me, and I am truly blessed...
my life, still sucks today, but at least I ate some fucking cake.....
and played some tunes,
And they were good......
Btw, here is my newish mix, and an older one....feel free to have a listen... I'm working on a new one so expect to see it soon....
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